YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
too bad you live with your parents still
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
