You just made me feel so damn special
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I touched a dick in church today
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
