grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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