Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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