he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Holy sore nipples Batman
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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