I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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