We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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