I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
