dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
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I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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