I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
