she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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