Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize