haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I cut my penus on the lid.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
