i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
