You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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