Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
