we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
