I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize