Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
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it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
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Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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