I am in a vortex of obligation.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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