I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
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Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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