bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
