My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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