Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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