i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This baby is an asshole
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
