Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
