apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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