she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
