Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
