My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
