I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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