Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
do herpes really smell.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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