i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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