I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
