Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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