I have demons in me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
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Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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