Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
