return my video game
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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