addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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