O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
