One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
