i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
