are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
