yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
