White coat. Heels.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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