Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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