Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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