he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
