I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
