Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
