I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
