You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Girls should come with a carfax report
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
