Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
