He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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