This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
