I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
