dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
