I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It was confusing and full of hummus
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
