I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
