I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
